Lost in Michael Jackson’s woodland estate, young Will Williamson was a happy soul. Breast fed and reared by a family of disco Llamas, he’d canter hither and tither to his heart’s content, chewing on the lush grass and shrubs planted way back in the Motown days.

Until the day the bulldozers arrived to clear the estate and mine the fabled Tree of Soul. Outraged, the Llamas quickly militarised and Will found himself leading the Llama army against the machines. Sadly for Will and the Llamas, they were trained in combat by Bubbles, Michael Jackson’s favourite monkey and could only offer thrown semen and faeces against their metal foe and it was over as soon as it began. But as is the way with super heroes, Will didn’t die. He was spirited away and placed in a montage, where over the proceeding years he grew strong, running along beaches and up and down steps to Bill Conti’s Theme from Rocky…

Ladies and Gentlemen. Father Funk is here! The Legend is born!